May

Months ago, I envisioned May being a time for celebration. Nice weather, Memphis in May, the impending cessation of school. Unfortunately, the month has started with the type of day I need to forget but have a hard time doing so (mostly because the day is still happening).

Car was at the shop today to repair a break problem: $280. Shop closes at 5pm - but I got there on time. My debit card forgot to go with me though - I left it in my jeans pocket, rather than my wallet. Currently car-less, but they open at 7am, so shouldn't be too much hassle.

Years of lower leg pain continue to haunt me and I've been cautious about throwing down the mileage. Luckily there are no races to train for, so it won't affect any performances.

I am submerged in chaos at school - I get walked on by 13 year olds every morning from 8:45-9:45, and on occasions between 12:25 and 3:05. In the middle of the year I shrugged these days off and got ready for the next. Now, that fall-back is accelerating my drop rather than slowing it down. Kids see the end of the year, other teachers see the end of the year, I see the end of the year. It's strange not having the cushion of learning time on the horizon. Daily success becomes more unlikely, yet problems (learning and management) become more apparent and guilt me into wanting to fix them immediately. Whether or not my attempted solutions make any headway this year, they will surely teach me lessons about what to do next year. I need a better foundation of learning and management to make sure this doesn't happen again - because then I'm really done. There are no second chances after May 2009.

I really wanted to get in one of these posts when I am backpedaling from a terrible performance at school. After all, May celebrations will eventually replace the larger-than-I-expected frustrations of closing out a school year.