May

Months ago, I envisioned May being a time for celebration. Nice weather, Memphis in May, the impending cessation of school. Unfortunately, the month has started with the type of day I need to forget but have a hard time doing so (mostly because the day is still happening).

Car was at the shop today to repair a break problem: $280. Shop closes at 5pm - but I got there on time. My debit card forgot to go with me though - I left it in my jeans pocket, rather than my wallet. Currently car-less, but they open at 7am, so shouldn't be too much hassle.

Years of lower leg pain continue to haunt me and I've been cautious about throwing down the mileage. Luckily there are no races to train for, so it won't affect any performances.

I am submerged in chaos at school - I get walked on by 13 year olds every morning from 8:45-9:45, and on occasions between 12:25 and 3:05. In the middle of the year I shrugged these days off and got ready for the next. Now, that fall-back is accelerating my drop rather than slowing it down. Kids see the end of the year, other teachers see the end of the year, I see the end of the year. It's strange not having the cushion of learning time on the horizon. Daily success becomes more unlikely, yet problems (learning and management) become more apparent and guilt me into wanting to fix them immediately. Whether or not my attempted solutions make any headway this year, they will surely teach me lessons about what to do next year. I need a better foundation of learning and management to make sure this doesn't happen again - because then I'm really done. There are no second chances after May 2009.

I really wanted to get in one of these posts when I am backpedaling from a terrible performance at school. After all, May celebrations will eventually replace the larger-than-I-expected frustrations of closing out a school year.

Transient living

I left school today at 3:55 - probably the second earliest time I've left all year (we get out at 3:30). It was raining pretty good, but I had my sights set on catching the field events of the City Championships for middle school track - we have one kid competing in the high jump. Only three minutes into my drive, I see a sixth grader, who is not one of my students but who I chill with during dismissal, standing at a bus stop. I pull into a parking lot, offer him a ride - it was pouring rain after all - and then start the trek to his house.

I continually had to remind myself that, despite this kid's size (5'10" and 200+), he's a sixth grader and doesn't really drive around, and, subsequently, doesn't really know how to drive back to his house. Turns out his apartment was a good 15-20 minutes away, so it makes sense he wasn't familiar with every road. He said his family lived so far away from school because they had been robbed twice, which led to him moving three times this year, and changing schools once. He's going to change schools next year, too.

Before pulling in to the apartment complex, he told me to let him off at the entrance. It was still raining and I insisted on taking him all the way home, rather than having him walk. The drive through the complex made the last part of our ride together a bit awkward - I think he felt a bit embarrassed to be taking a teacher back to his home. It wasn't the nicest apartment complex - the roads through it were littered with giant potholes and the apartment buildings themselves looked like the other neglected apartment complexes I've seen around Memphis. When he was getting out, he told me I was a 'nice person'.

Sometimes I forget my kids' home lives (this wasn't one of my kids, but he's Hispanic) - but at the same time, when kids are at school, I think they forget them too. Driving this kid home was just totally different than talking to him after school - he was dejected, didn't smile much, and wasn't joking around. The only reason he didn't move to a third school this year was because his mother didn't want him failing.

This kid is also the same kid who was being talked down to the other day during dismissal. With the kid standing right there, one of his teacher's was telling me how he needs to be tested for SPED because he got 'all circles on TCAP'. I was surprised that the math teacher was saying this stuff in front of the kid, but didn't really come to the kid's defense. Most of the time poor performance on standardized tests is due to stuff other than a kid needing to be tested for SPED. Yesterday, I talked to the kid and told him how I thought what the math teacher saying was total crap.

After dropping the kid off, I spent 15 minutes or so driving around southeast Memphis making wrong turns. At one point, I got off of an exit I thought would go North on 240, when it actually made this gigantic loop over the whole expressway and went South again. I tried to catch the field events of City Champs, but couldn't find the track. Apparently, the "Fairgrounds" is a different place than the place where they have the Mid-South Fair and a track right by the Liberty Bowl. That, or today's portion of the meet was canceled because of the weather.

During school I also me with the parent and sister of a student who I had suspended because of his ludicrous behavior during TCAP (state tests) this week. To me, this kid, who I'll call Juan, said, "Are you scared? Do you want to take it outside?" and "I'm finna shoot somebody." Juan is a total joker whose behavior all of the teachers dislike. Naturally, all of the Hispanic students (and many of the black girls) at the school adore him for his comedy routines in class and his cocksure lifestyle.

Juan's father asked to get the suspension down to two days so that he would not have to miss a third day of work. He left work to come in and meet about Juan's suspension and was lucky he could get off for a bit because of today's rain. Juan's father looked worn out. He kept putting his head down, raising and lowering his hands in exasperation, and speaking in a tone I knew (even though it was in Spanish) was that of a parent who didn't have a solution. His sister, who is only 18 but not in school, looked more relaxed but not shocked to be back in the principal's office (apparently she took care of his other suspensions). Juan said he was 'just playing' with another student - I told him I knew it was directed at me.

After the translator left the room, I sat there and listened to Juan, his sister, and his father argue about something in Spanish. The desperate-sounding back and forth between the three made me regret my words from a run with Karl two days ago. Because Juan was being his usual teacher-aggravating self, I had confessed to Karl,"I'd be ok with Juan being arrested and deported."

Listening to Juan's dejected father try to convince Juan to change his behavior helped me remember Juan's a kid living a tough life, in a foreign country, at a place he detests (school), and in an environment where teachers usually make sure he fails (even though he's a smart dude, I think his language proficiency has really hurt him in class). Rather than wanting Juan deported, I think I just want him to realize his talents (intellect + ability to make people like him [thought not teachers, generally]) could be used to do good things.

Middle School Track

Went to a track meet with the team over at Kirby High School. A very surreal feeling leaving for the meet. Here I am sitting on a bus with 45 black kids going to a track meet. On the way to the meet one of the kids gets a call from his dad who says the meet started at 3 or 3:30, rather than the 4pm start time that it says on the schedule. Got to the meet and everyone was in a big hurry to get off the bus - I was stuck carrying one of the jugs of water, which I will never let happen again. First event we arrived for was the 100 hurdles. The starter and coaches made the kids who were racing hurdles put the hurdles on the track. I helped out to get things moving along. The two boys we had in the hurdles just did hurdles for the first time yesterday (or Monday?) so I was pretty worried about how the race would go. They ended up doing pretty well - one hurdled well and got 6th (of 7), the other attacked hurdles and went more up than over, but got 3rd, so he was happy. After everybody rushed off the bus and watched the first races the track meet slowed to a crawl. Literally it was the slowest meet I've ever been to. All of the kids on my team who had spikes put them on immediately upon entering the stands - few of them would race in the next hour, and some of them didn't race all night because the meet was so slow. Four teams attended the meet, but each team could only put two runners in each event. Somehow, this translated into 20 minute stretches in between races where absolutely nothing happened. Ridiculous. We get through the 4x1s alright, but then things really slow down before the 400, 4x8, and 1600.

By 5:30, we had been through about 4 events on the schedule with about 8 more to go. At that point, I decided we'd probably be there until 7pm or so. The meet continued to drag. During the girls 800, which went off around 6:45 (?) a girl collapsed right before the backstretch of the first lap. The race continued as people flocked to the fallen girl. This disruption (apparently the girl had asthma, and they called for an ambulance while leaving the girl lying on the track) caused at least a 30 minute stoppage in the meet. At 7:15, when they finally dragged the poor girl off the track, word spread that the rest of the meet would be canceled. Mercifully, I was going to get to go home. By that point, it was cold, the light were on at the stadium, and I started telling parents who were hanging around with their kids to have the kids ask the head coach if they could go home. The pace of the meet was brutal and parents were complaining about it, though not as I much as I was complaining to myself about it. We (I) cleaned up our area of the bleachers and started walking out when kids come running back in the stadium saying the meet is back on.

It's cold (~50), late, and everyone had long since gotten tight muscles. They put boys on the track for the 800, and girls and boys for the 200, and 4x4. To me this was just torture. We had already lost our best sprinter for the day when he pulled a hip flexor or something in the 4x1 for not warming up and stretching properly (no one told these kids how to warmup/stretch properly). I was sure one of the kids in the 200 or 4 x 4 would mess something up, so I made the 400 runners run to the far field goal post a couple of times before leading them in a few stretches. Thankfully there weren't many participants in these events and we finished the meet, heard scores, and got back to school around 8:15 or so. After a 5 hour plus meet (which we were there for 4 hours of), I was rewarded with a 25 minute drive home.

A few reflections:

1. The kids (and fans) are super excited about all the events despite having no idea what is going on. The 4 x 1 was way more exciting than any duel meet I ever ran at - and these were clueless middle schoolers and parents.

2. Despite being the only white person I saw for the first two hours of the meet, I did not feel out of place at all. I know, for certain, that a year ago I could not have imagined myself in such a situation but now it's normal to me.

3. The kids on the team are truly uninformed about track - and I can't blame them. The thing that upsets me is that the head coach doesn't really take the time to do explain some key things - warming up, stretching, staying loose, when to put on spikes, how far each race is. He also doesn't take down times - so I was doing this in a little flip notebook I found in the hallway. I felt like Coleman or Bob Hasson at a track meet.

4. A middle school meet should never, ever, ever, in a billion years, take more than 1.5 or 2 hours. Just get it the fuck over with - who gives a shit if little Bobby or Joanie misses their race.

5. The coaches in MCS really are incompetent when it comes to running a track meet - cut out some of the events and just load up the other events. Meets should not be about scores, but about participation - get everyone a chance to run.

Mississippi River and the UT/Memphis Game

Had considered getting up at 6am, heading downtown with Karl, and waiting in line for ESPN Gameday tickets so that I'd be guaranteed a ticket for the UT / Memphis game. Instead, decided to go to class at 9am, work on a presentation for my other Memphis class, get my haircut, and go for a run. I wanted to get out of Midtown for my run, so I got in my car and drove in the direction of Mud Island. On the way I changed plans, headed towards the Riverfront Walk parking area and stuffed my keys into my running shorts.

Ran south towards south bluffs, checked out the view of the river and downtown, then turned back north. Gorgeous evening made amazing by the sunset over the river. Very peaceful along the river and nice weather (a bit chilly, but not bad). Ran north to Madison Avenue, made a right up the hill towards downtown, then turned south onto Main Street. Main Street wasn't that busy and ran in between the trolley tracks all the way down to the Civil Rights Museum, where I stopped briefly outside the room where Martin Luther King was assassinated. Then I started making my way towards the Fedex Forum, where I knew it'd be packed with people getting pumped for the Memphis (1) / Tennessee (2) game. I got heckled a little bit a couple of streets away from the Forum but still hadn't run in to the crowds of people I was expecting. When I reached the Forum it was just jammed with orange and blue. I made a circuitous route towards Beale Street after I got stonewalled by a giant mass of people. My route took me past a line of students waiting to get in the game and I was booed by a good number of them. I was having a great time and feeling fantastic by this point of the run. Being around the energy of the Forum and the people getting ready for the game made the run smooth and fun. I took in all of Beale street starting on its east end heading west. Weird looks from people drinking were the norm (I was in running shorts in 45 degree weather) but I received no heckles on Beale. In a few minutes I was back running along the silent, steady flowing river and the soft yellow grass - a stark contrast to the blue shirt wearing, people-packed Fedex Forum area. Finished up my run after the sun went down. I am extremely happy about the run - I got the best of Memphis in 40 minutes. Felt physically great, too.

Band of Horses (1/30)

Last Wednesday I went to see Band of Horses over at the Hi-Tone Cafe. The bar is only a 5 minute drive from my house so I wasn't too worried about rushing to get over there. Doors opened at 9, but I had homework for my U of Memphis class and I needed to plan a bit for the next day at school. I finally made my way over there at 10:30, figuring they'd be well into the 2nd opening act. Unfortunately I caught one song of the first band and had to sit (stand, actually) through all of the 2nd band.

I didn't catch the name of the band, but they were so mediocre/terrible I didn't want to know. They had 2 stereotypical indie guys (one with a beard and a stupid hat, the other with a poor mop of a haircut and overly thought out lyrics) , one drummer who was literally invisible, and a backup guitar player who had this vacant look on his face and hardly played anything all night. The beard/hat guy violently played the bass, and to my surprise, carried a lot of the melodies in the songs. The haircut/lyrics guy had an awful voice and played guitar. The drummer was sitting way in the back and must've been playing something - I couldn't tell though. The vacant look/not playing guy had an acoustic guitar he strummed a bit but, again, not much sound coming from him. Anyway, these guys were so boring - no one was excited for them, they weren't excited for themselves, and their music was so constructed - they seemed to be trying so hard just to play boring stuff. My feet hurt a lot during their set because I had been standing all day - I took my shoes off towards the end of their stuff.

Band of Horses was up next and started playing around 11:45. My usual bed time is around 12, so I was getting a little worried and my feet were still killing me. They started out with a couple songs I knew - St. Augustine and Great Salt Lake were played in the first 4 songs or so - and I got into the show pretty quickly. The lead singer had this thick beard, slightly crooked teeth, and an amazing voice. Right away I was surprised how powerful his voice was. The difference between this guy's band and the other band was just enormous. 2 guitar players, 1 bass player, 1 drummer, and 1 keyboard guy rounded out the rest of the band with 2 of them having beards and 2 of them having a mustaches (3 beards total, 2 mustaches, 1 fat guy). They really pulled off the flannel-beard look pretty well and I was jealous of the facial hair.

Coming into the show I feared they'd play a bunch of stuff from their new album, which I hadn't listened to yet, and that they'd leave out the songs I knew. They mixed it up pretty well and I knew about half of the songs. I actually really enjoyed the half of the show that I didn't know, too. Every other concert that I've gone to and not known the music has been pretty crappy, so this was a nice surprise. One of the unknown songs that stuck out was when the lead singer picked up his banjo (he and the other guitar players had about 5 axes each) and the keyboardist sang lead. Didn't hear the name, but it was a very rocking song and the guys on stage were jamming out for a while. Band of Horses was just way more fluid and relaxed than the opening band and the guys looked like they were having fun playing which got me into the show more. The bass player (whose facial expressions and body movements were hilarious) and the backup guitarist were a constant focus of my attention. During the 'rocking out parts' (I've got to think of a better description) they were hanging in each other's faces, looking at the other guy's guitar and simply feeling the music.

It started getting late (around 1) and they announced they were going to play their 'fake last song', not leave stage (since there was no backstage), and then start playing the encore. I laughed pretty hard at that crack - the whole encore process has always struck me as pretty weird, so it was funny to hear the singer thought it was a little weird as well. The opening notes of 'Funeral' justified me sacrificing a couple hours of sleep. I was waiting all night for the song and even got a little worried they weren't going to play it. Unfortunately, I built the song up so much, and enjoyed their whole set to the point that 'Funeral' didn't really stand out like I had hoped. It appeared as if the band didn't give as much energy as they had in some of their other songs, or maybe that I was distracted thinking about how lucky I was to be hearing my (and DJ Trouble's) favorite song. My goal accomplished (hearing 'Funeral'), I considered leaving right away to catch a few extra minutes of sleep, but I was interested in hearing some of the encore. The next song they played was one I didn't know (might have been a cover) and right after that I regretted my decision not to leave right after 'Funeral'. In all, a great show - the kind of show I wish Yo La Tengo would've played.

yo la tengo

Last night I went downtown with Rob France (2nd year) to see yo la tengo perform at the Gibson Lounge. Going into the concert I was unsure of exactly (I had an idea) what 'freewheeling' meant in the tour name: the freewheeling yo la tengo. The venue was also something neither of us had any particular knowledge of, other than it was attached to the guitar factory and right next to Beale St. We walked in, waited in line, then entered the lounge. Black table cloths, candles on tables, and old people drinking wine quickly showed me that I really was in a 'lounge' and probably wasn't in for a night of noisy rock from the band.

Some southern dude named Kurt Wagner played a half hour long acoustic set as a precursor to yo la tengo. No one really seemed interested in him and he pretty much knew that, too. I disliked his singing voice - half the time his words trailed off as if they simply ran out of sound - and his semi-classical guitar stylings weren't the 'rock' that I am interested in. At one point, as I was getting 2 PBR drafts (classy) from the bar, he half read a note from someone in the audience that basically told him he should stop playing because he was wasting people's time. After that I kind of felt bad for the guy. He was singing about his feelings/life in front of people who just didn't give a shit.

Yo la tengo came on around 10pm. The lead guy (Ira) had an acoustic guitar, the drummer (chick named Georgia) was playing with 'brush' style drumsticks (or whatever they are called to muffle the sound), and the bass dude (James) had a regular electric bass. They went pretty quickly into their stuff and played one or two acoustic songs before starting the Q and A part of the show. In between songs, or every couple of songs, they answered questions from people in the crowd and then played whatever song was part of the question.

The highlight of the night for me occurred after someone asked about the meaning of the song 'Stockholm Syndrome'. After the bass player answered (something about how it was a note to himself 10 years down the line) , the band launched into it with way more energy than anything they had played up to that point. Being one of my favorite songs from 'I can hear the heart...' I was relieved that I finally knew something. As they approached the very noise /electric guitar laden freakout, I was stumped as to how they'd perform it. To the entire room's delight and surprise, an abrasive wall of distortion came out of Ira's guitar and he just went to town for a couple of minutes before the group finished the song. They did this distortion trick once more in the night when they played 'Pass the Hatchet' and Ira jammed for about 7 minutes while James and Georgia held down the repeating rhythm patterns. These two teasers kept me from having any real interest in what they played acoustically, especially if the particular song was written by some other band. After 'Pass the Hatchet' I raised my hand to ask about the second of static on 'We're an American Band' for two reasons. First off, I was hoping they'd do what they did with 'Stockholm Syndrome' and just tear the song apart, giving me more of the rock I wanted. Second, I realized that would be the one time ever that I'd find out an answer to that question (and how cool would it be to get the answer from the people that wrote the song?). They didn't call on me, unfortunately.

After the show, Rob and I decided that we were both pretty disappointed. Neither of us got enough of what we wanted - straight up rock - from the band. Provided Ira is playing with an electric guitar in his hands, I'd love to see them again if I get the chance, though.

OC Season 1

This past Saturday night I started watching season one of the OC at Chalmers's house. We watched 3 episodes there, and when I got home I watched 2 episodes and went to sleep around 2:25 am. I am watching my third episode of the day right now - those of you out there worrying for the future of my kids, don't worry, I am getting some work done as well.

Basically, the only knowledge I had of this season is that each episode started with 'California' by Phantom Planet. It was a pretty glorious exam week in May of 2006 for the Goats who watched most of season 1 and 2. Unfortunately, I wasn't a part of the OC binge - I sat in Comfort 24D and finished my finals. I had caught most of season 3 that year and then all of season 4 my senior year. This past Saturday night, I couldn't help but smile as I remembered the total ludicrousness of that OC addiction. It was fun. It was college. Now I'm teaching and there isn't quite as much fun or ludicrousness in my life. It is good to remember those days.