Today I proctored these ludicrous assessments in the auditorium. I was in there with one other teacher and about 70 kids. One 6th grade girl, cute as a button, says to me, "Mr. Golden, I just told her that I think you should be a supermodel." She said it with all honesty and sincerity. I was flattered. Being a supermodel seems more appealing than being a teacher, certainly.
Last year I recall being fairly stubborn when it came to something that Ari said about having faith in all of her kids, even the most brazenly defiant, that they can do great things. With TFAY2 1/4 finished, I have been leaning more heavily on positivity in the classroom as a method of 'discipline'. I am fed up with the absurd power struggles that go on between every person at my school, every second of the day. I dont' want to continue presenting a false front as a tough guy disciplinarian because it doesn't work. It runs a bit deeper than being fed up, though; I think I'm realizing students won't change paths in life unless they start believing in their own ability to get things done.
Gilson had the awesome idea of getting down to Oxford, MS to see the Rebels play against Samford in a classic good team beats the crap out of bad team game. Karl, naturally, was away for the weekend, choosing to go woo his ladyfriend's family into letting him marry their daughter. After spending Friday night watching CNN and killing a couple brews, it was a welcome change to have something planned to get us the heck out of Midtown Memphis.
Early Saturday, Gilson and I got up and put in a solid 10 on the roads of Memphis. Aiming to head out by 11:00 or so, we scarfed down breakfast after the run and hit the road. This was only my third journey into the territory that is Mississippi. Once we got a few miles down in I-55, we knew we weren't in Memphis anymore – open fields, no neighborhoods, and beautiful looking schools greeted us driving on the path to Oxford.
On the way down, I got started thinking about the history of Mississippi and segregation. Gilson and I talked about how unlikely it was for a white person in MS to vote for Obama in the election. It's boggling to think that there are still people alive who actively participated in the racial segregation of the country. How in the world could those same people elect a black President? Probably couldn't, we guessed. Yet, certainly some children of those segregationist southerners would be voting for Obama. I was trying to work out in my head how kids could grow up in that environment and not feel uncomfortable voting for Obama. My limited interactions with souther belles have given me some insight into the different types of people that still come out of the South. Anyways back to the adventure of the game.
We got down to Oxford in about an hour and half. It took us a while to find where to park – we drove onto the campus, got turned around a few times, and then finally circumnavigated most of the school and ended up parking off campus. We passed sorority and fraternity rows, which house some of the most hilarious people I've had contact with down here in Memphis. Surprisingly, we thought, there wasn't too much trouble finding parking that was only about a 10 minute walk from the stadium.
After parking, we walked over towards the Grove, the location of one of the best tailgates in the SEC. Not really having any idea where to go, we followed the general flow of people. We got on campus right around 1pm. Strangely though, we heard no noise coming from the football stadium. In fact, we could see tons of empty seats instead of frenzied, drunk Rebs fans. We walked through the Grove, and saw that it was only beginning to fill up. The tailgate parties were still in their sober stages.
Gilson and I made a costly mistake – the game was scheduled for 6pm, rather than 1pm. We felt like morons and regretted our coming down so early, but instead of thinking clearly, we panicked. Rather than embracing the 5 hour wait as a direct sign from God to party with his disciples at the Grove, we got scared, sold our tickets to a scalper, and got the hell out of there. Soon we regretted our hasty retreat and I second guessed us the whole way home. Only if we weren't stupid enough to leave for the game without checking for what time it started. It would have certainly been the perfect evening outing with Gilson, my new BFF.
I am a small ripple in a sea of bull shit.
My first year in Memphis came to a quick end. On Sunday of Memorial Day weekend I went to a Redbirds game. Monday I chilled out. Tuesday I cleaned up my room, Wednesday I moved stuff into my new room (N207!) and was out of school for good by 11am. I took my car to get two new tires before I drove back to Philly for the summer. Packed on Wednesday, picked up Brittany at the airport on Thursday morning, went to Rendezvous for dinner Thursday evening, packed some more, and on Friday morning Brittany and I set off on our road trip to Philadelphia. Felt really good to see Brittany. Our itinerary went like this:
Friday (5/31): drive through Mississippi and Alabama and arrive in Atlanta Friday afternoon to hang out with John Washington (HH '03 and Emory '07 alum).
Apparently, other than Birmingham, Alabama has zero rest stops, restaurants, or buildings that include bathrooms. Alabama proved prettier than Mississippi but came up short when we were trying to find a place to eat and a place to go to the bathroom. You know how interstates have those blue signs right before exits that show you what restaurants and gas stations are off the exit? Well, Alabama had those, too, but their signs were totally blank. No place for unlucky motorists to pull over and grab a bite. We got off at one exit, drove on the new road for a bit, turned around, and pulled over on the on-ramp of 78 to relieve ourselves.
Got to ATL, parked downtown and then walked around Centennial park. Stopped in the CNN Center, where I thought of Karl and Brian and watching primary returns, then walked over to the World of Coke. We didn't have much time, so Brittany had the excellent idea of checking out Coke's gift-shop rather than taking the actual tour. Met John and his gigantic office tower, then went out for some food. Grabbed a few beers at night, then got up Saturday to go for a run before setting off to SC.
Saturday: drive from ATL to Seneca South Carolina to spend a night at Brittany's cousin's new house.
Short 2 hour drive up to Brittany's cousins. She took the wheel for the first time this trip and things went very smoothly. She has really matured as a driver under my tutelage - when we started dating, she was terrified of merging onto highways, but now does it pretty well.
We got in to her cousin's house (Hayden and his wife Katie) around 1pm and set out for some hiking around 2pm. Hayden and Katie are both paramedics, so for most of the time I was left out of whatever medical conversation they were having with Brittany. I actually felt pretty uncomfortable for a while, but once we got to hiking, there was less conversation for me to feel awkward about.
We drove up the mountains to visit a couple of waterfalls and an abandoned train tunnel that was begun in the 1860s but eventually stopped after the mountain proved too hard to dig into. I was impressed by Brittany's willingness to walk into a quarter mile long dark hole and climb up and down rocky trails. She was afraid of some lizards that we saw, but generally she was looking tough. I was even a bit rattled walking into the railroad tunnel, but it was fun and a relief from the heat.
Sunday: drive from SC to Clemmons North Carolina to spend a night at Brittany's aunt's house.
Drove out early on Sunday morning and got in around noon. Had some lunch and hung out for a bit before going par 3 golfing at this beautiful park by Brittany's Aunt Nettie's house. 18 holes had us roasting and burnt pretty good, but it was a lot of fun. Brittany could use some (lots, she's never golfed) work on her golf game - mine was also not pretty. It was strange inserting ourselves into her Aunt's family for an afternoon, but I liked everyone's unique personality. I thought her younger cousin, who just finished his 9th grade year, is a lot like Danny was, and I had fun giving him a hard time here and there. Brittany's older cousin had a 1 year old baby and I was totally clueless about how to interact with a fat, speechless, tiny human being - it was fun, though.
Monday: drive from NC to Alexandria Virginia, just outside of DC, to spend a night at my Aunt Roberta / Uncle JQ's house and meet my cousins John and Owen.
Other than spending a ton of time with Brittany, this was probably the leg of the trip I was anticipating the most. My aunt and uncle have two kids, John (7) and Owen (5), who I hadn't met yet.
My pops had said they act like James and I did when we were annoying little kids - so I was looking forward to it. This driving leg was pretty long and Brittany took the middle of it at the end of NC and going through Richmond. In the middle of this leg, at Wendy's, I realized that only people over 70 drive Buick Centuries. We sat down for lunch behind a group of old, dolled up Souther women gossiping over the local news, and I wondered aloud how many of them were driving Centuries. Sure enough, a gold Century was parked in the handicapped spot and probably belonged to one of those souther belles.
Brittany gave me the insightful advice of getting the kids a gift, so we stopped at Rite Aid and bought them an indoor basketball net / ball, which offered some of the best sports battles of my childhood with James and Andy. Pretty much chilled out at night - had dinner with their family, then the kids went to bed pretty soon afterwards, and Brittany and I watched the Penguins - Red Wings game. The next morning, John and Owen were up early, attacked me right after I woke up, and started pummeling me with pillows and balls for about 15 minutes as their parents were getting ready. They really took it to me - it was fun. We ran and then headed for downtown around 11 am.
Tuesday: spent day in DC, meet Cait Schopp and Laura Gavinski in evening, spent night at Laura's house.
Brittany's knowledge of dinosaurs is severely lacking, which I found out when we got into the Natural History Museum. The bros and I grew up on dinosaurs - so I was blown away that she didn't know what a Tyrannosaurus was. And people call me sheltered!! Also hit up the Native American museum - it was horrendous and would offend Boyce to the fullest. The 'Native American' food in the cafeteria was amazing, however.
Tiring day walking on the mall, so it was nice when we got to sit by the L'enfant metro plaza and wait for Cait. In some senses, I was jealous of people walking down to the metro. They had so much purpose. And they had an office to leave behind. Few of them probably took their work home with them and they were running to get on a subway that would whisk them close to home without driving through traffic. DC also seems to have the highest percentage of people who walk around in suits - everywhere you go on the Mall you see suits. I was sweating walking around in shorts and a T - how could people walk around in suits? Hit up a happy hour with Cait and Laura, then a Thai restaurant at night.
Wednesday (6/5): leave DC and head to home in Horsham Pennsylvania.
Brittany and I got up early so that'd we'd be able to run down to the Washington Monument area and check out the things we missed on Tuesday. It was a 2 hour odyssey that started out with me running back to Laura's house and running around Capitol Hill for 10 minutes trying to catch up to Brittany - I missed a turn. Ran down the Mall to the Monument, WWII memorial, reflecting pool, Vietnam memorial, Lincoln memorial, and then to the White House. Should've brought my camera, but didn't quite feel like running with it. Total running was 50 minutes - we took the metro back to Union Station and jogged back to Laura's house before setting out for Philadelphia.
Driving out of DC, we almost got smashed into by a crazed minivan driver who was trying to outrun the cops on the Beltway around DC. The van sideswiped a car just behind me and to my right before roaring past me and skidding around the corner of an exit ramp.
Pulled into my driveway after 1250 miles or so. We went and saw Sex and the City in the afternoon (what, you're too cool for that movie?) and tried to see the Phillies on Thursday. We took the subway down to the stadium, but the game was sold out. Hung our heads (this was failed attempt #2 to see a Philly sports team after going all the way to the stadium) and went to South Street for a while, which was relaxing and enjoyable. Drove Brittany to the airport on Friday morning (a bummer she couldn't make Trouble's bday party) - we totaled 1337 miles together over a week's worth of driving. It was a perfect start to my summer (other than failing to see the Phillies).
Topics covered in this ridiculously long post: end of year, 8th grade week, conversation with football coach about student achievement, TCAP writing scores for my 8th graders, thoughts on racial implications of Iron Man.
Two days ago, on Friday the 23rd, students left Hickory Ridge Middle School for summer vacation. Some left around 3:30, others left at 9:15pm. Unfortunately, I left at 9:15pm too. As the culmination of '8th grade week', we had a prom for the 'graduating' 8th graders that went from 6-9 pm. Being that gas prices have soared and I live 15 miles from school, I decided to stay at school until the end of prom. My last day at school turned out to be the longest day of the year - I got there about 7:45 and left 13.5 hours later. What a dedicated teacher I am!!!
I was ok with staying so late at school because it's the last time I'll need to do so for a while. I was also ok with staying late at school because our dances are so ridiculous. Watching young black kids dance is a sight to behold. They do things that white kids can't. My three favorite songs of the night - 'Crank Dat', 'Get Silly', and 'Talkin Out Da Side of Ya Neck'. I saw some new variations to Soulja Boy's smash-hit dance that just had me cracking up. The kids have so much fun dancing - way more fun than I think anyone ever had at dances I went to in middle school - that it is enjoyable to watch. It also made me jealous that I suck so much at dancing compared to them.
On Thursday of 8th grade week, my school held a 'promotion' ceremony that most students / parents / teachers were calling a 'graduation'. I sat next to the CDC (special ed) teacher, who's an understandably jaded person when it comes to MCS, and we discussed the reasons / implications of this ceremony being called a graduation. She observed that 75% of these kids won't have a high school graduation, and that this is really all they've got. I'm not quite sure about those statistics, but her point stands that some of these kids and families won't have much to celebrate 4 years from now. She also mentioned that this ceremony is typical of the low expectations of MCS - moving to 9th grade is seen as some great accomplishment (mostly by parents and the students) rather than a taken-for-granted-step towards something bigger. Both of her thoughts resonated with my TFA tilted brain.
That Thursday afternoon I had a discussion with the football coach about 'tracking' students for different life paths - college prep versus vocational stuff. Not sure how this discussion came up during dismissal, but I think it might have been started when he shared that most of his class would only score 50% on his 6th grade social studies final. Coach and I are on opposite sides of the ideological spectrum. He's a middle aged, white, Republican, veteran teacher, who grew up in the sticks of Arkansas and earned everything he's got. I'm an idealistic, change-happy, yankee, rookie TFAer whose inexperience in the teaching world means that I still think I can make a difference.
After Coach said this, I countered that tracking would inherently place black and hispanic kids, like those in our school, in lower tracks, while the white kids living out in Cordova, TN (a Memphis burb) would be placed in the higher tracks. The asst football coach (a younger, white, U of Memphis grad, whose political leanings are somewhere in between) had joined the conversation at this point and added that black kids come into school with a hugely disadvantaged vocabulary and are already 2 academic years behind white kids. Coach knows that I'm TFA, but he surely wasn't aware of how trained (and convinced!) I am to challenge these exact ideas.
Basically, I contended that it is possible to catch these kids up and that teachers at our school aren't working hard enough to do so. I used one example of a teacher that both of us know is full of shit and doesn't do a lick of teaching to say that there are certainly others like her at our school and throughout MCS who are not working their asses off to catch kids up. I also shared the success of TFAers at Kingsbury High (Karl's school), where 4 first years run the math department. They improved scores on the diploma-deciding Algebra I Gateway exams by 30 percentage points to 93% passing. Coach was trying to say he'd be able to focus on catching kids up if it wasn't for the 'knotheads' (behavior problems) in his classes. I said, those teachers at Kingsbury have as many knotheads as you do, but they're doing it.
Coach and his asst then decided that either they are exceptional teachers, or there is something going on with discipline at Kingsbury. I responded, the thing going on at Kingsbury is that they have 16 TFA teachers, who even though they have no formal training, and are first years, are making these huge improvements. By this point it was 3:30, and we started walking in, but I think I won that particular argument.
Afterwards, his comments got me thinking - either TFA teachers are actually exceptional in their abilities and work ethic, OR, the teachers in MCS are really that terrible that a bunch of rookies can come in and do their job way better than they can. Coach conceded that MCS teachers aren't willing to put in the effort that we put in and don't have the same work ethic.
On Monday of 8th grade week, we went to see Iron Man in a rented out theater. The beatiful 'Paradiso' and luxurious stadium seating - tons of leg room and nice, loose backed chairs with a good, springy recline - was a welcome change from teaching kids. I had thought I was going to stay and hold classes for 7th graders, but I got a call over the PA early in 2nd period to report down to go with the buses for the 8th grade trip.
Early on in Iron Man, when Robert Downie Jr. shared the screen with Gwyneth Paltrow, I couldn't help but wonder how the black and hispanic kids in the audience interpreted the racial makeup of the cast on screen. Terrence Howard, a Philly boy, was the only black guy in the movie, and was in a supporting role at that. After rarely seeing white adult males in or out of school, here these kids were watching white actors throughout the movie. Karl likened it to a grade full of white kids going to see that Christmas movie about a black family that came out last year (which, hilariously, I have no idea of that movie's name). I think it just really highlights the racial separation that still exists - black and white people are still so unfamiliar with each other and culturally divided.
I also thought the portrayal of the Afghani rebels in the beginning of the movie would have a negative impact on the way the mostly black audience would react to middle eastern people in real world situations. There's one Saudi Arabian student in the 8th grade class, and I felt like he could be a recipient of these negative attitudes. Combined with war-on-terror based portrayals of the middle east, I am fairly confident that these black students do not have an unbiased way to interact with people from the middle east.
Thursday I checked out my students' TCAP writing scores from the state exam they took in February. 4 of my students passed the exam with a score of '4', and 10 of them scored a '3', one point below passing. I think these scores of '3' are slightly ludicrous, considering a girl who wrote in a giant block of text with either one period or many incorrect periods got the same score as multiple students who craft good sentences with clear paragraphs. There's one girl who I thought would get a 4 that did not, and then 3 kids I thought had good chances of getting 4s that did not.
The end of year joy has not quite hit me yet - I still have one day of clean up / close out at school and I have my TFA end of year conversation. Today I am doing my best to take advantage of free time by completely wasting it. I've been surfing the net, writing this post, sleeping in, and sitting in a chair for basically the whole day. Pretty nice, but I'll enjoy it more later this week when Brittany comes down and we start the trek back towards Philadelphia through Atlanta, Charlotte, and DC. Should be a great way to leave Memphis and really start my summer!
